Quips 'N Quirks

Copywriter Commentary: Playtex Sport Tampons

2008-01-31T08:52:00.000-08:00

My work, (CityMax Website Builder) recently bought a ton of new supplies for its storeroom meant for use by its employees. Besides all the Kool-aid, single-serving soups, wasabi peas and other tasty treats, a box of Playtex Sport tampons was added for those of us who get “caught” without any on hand.

Yes, we have more women with us than the average high-tech company.

Now being a professional copywriter, I tend to laugh at the kind of copy that makes it onto product packaging. Anyway, the back of the tampon box touts the product for its revolutionary “Precise Placement™” system. I can’t help but wonder: "Why exactly does a tampon need ‘precise placement’? Where the heck else is it gonna go?" I began to theorize about this until I was told by my wonderfully tolerant workmates, “Please don’t go there, Lori…”

Yes, I admit, I’m a bit of a geek with words. :P

A Web Forum for Losers: Loosr.com

2008-01-30T14:24:00.000-08:00

Shit happens. Not just shit... vomit, sex, pee, condoms, girlfriends, cars, shoes and a variety of other topics in the tag cloud on Loosr.

Loosr is a fun little site on which anyone can share their embarrassing stories publicly on the Web. Like on other online communities, visitors can leave their comments and click to vote for which stories they think are most embarrassing.

Most of the people leaving comments seem to be under 24, which isn't a surprise when I think about it. The most embarrassing times I can remember were all back then. Anyway, it's a bit of fun so check it out.

World of Warcraft Videos - Now THIS is Geeky...

2008-01-28T10:59:00.000-08:00

The World of Warcraft has risen to phenomenal new heights of geeky obsession. Many people are creating videos using WOW graphics. Some of these are pretty detailed and impressive. Here is my favourite using the audio skit by Four on the Floor:

There are also lots of people making music videos like this one for the song "Here Without You."

What's really scary is there are a bunch of entirely different videos for this same song.

Pandora Goes Global

2008-01-23T14:01:00.000-08:00

Yes, it's true. Pandora's box is not only open to Americans now, it's open to the entire world. Hooray!

For those of you who don't know, Pandora is an online radio station of music that is organized using the Music Genome Project. The Music Genome Project analyzes and organizes music by a number of traits (i.e. melody, harmony, rhythm, instrumentation, etc.). Pandora Radio allows listeners to identify a song or an artist they like and, in turn, Pandora searches its database and pulls up songs it that are similar in nature.

Before, Pandora was available to the world at Pandora.com. But last year, due to licensing constraints, Pandora had to cut itself off from the world outside the States. But now, with GlobalPandora.com, those of us who live in the rest of the world can now enjoy Pandora's box and all her splendours once again. :)

Best New Facebook Feature: Friend Lists

2008-01-22T15:09:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it. I'm addicted to Facebook (or 'Facecrack' as it's called by my friends). And as much as I liked that fact that you no longer have to use the word 'is' in status updates, as well as the new email notification system that contains the actual text of the emails, the most important new feature is the new 'Friends Lists.'

This new feature allows you to organize your friends into logical lists, making it easier to send mass emails to relevant recipients. But more importantly, once completed, this feature will give you more control over the information you allow your different friend lists to see.

No longer will we have to worry about co-workers or family members seeing various "unmentionables." Yay, Facebook!

Corporate Culture in Computerland

2008-01-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Developers are in demand. All the companies in Computerland are all afluster, competing to get the most skilled, creative and dynamic developers in the field. In this high stakes game of headhunting, compensation and benefits packages alone are no longer enough to attract the best players to a company's development team. People don't just want to company to work for, they want a company that they can work for and have fun too.

This is one of the reasons why companies like Google are winning over the best developers in the industry. Check out this list of the top 10 reasons to work for Google. In addition to great compensation and benefits packages, they provide free lunches and snacks, foozeball, yoga, massage, gym and lots more, all with the sole purpose of attracting the most innovative minds in the industry. Google doesn't need to seek people. People want to be part of Google, nay, compete to be.

Compare Google's job page to Microsoft's job page. Google shows real employees having fun and doing their thing. Microsoft shows us a plastic stock photo representation of the yes men and women that work there. What kind of employees do you think Microsoft attracts? Is it any wonder that Microsoft is rapidly gaining a reputation as a stagnating company that struggles to keep up with its competitors?

Endangered Word of the Day: "Addictive"

2008-01-18T11:23:00.000-08:00

Has anyone noticed that everyone is now using the word "addicting" in place of the word "addictive"? This is a language travesty that has come about in recent years that has become too prominent to ignore.

I'd like to start by pointing out that yes, "addicting" is in fact a word, but no, it is not interchangeable with addictive. To say that "Cigarettes are addicting," implies that cigarettes are currently causing addiction to those who smoke them. For this statement to be both grammatically correct and meaningful, those whom are being addicted should be specified in the sentence.

If you want to describe an activity as having qualities that cause addiction, the use of the word "addictive" (an adjective) is the grammatically correct choice.

So everyone, please use the English language responsibly and help prevent endangered words like "addictive" from falling into extinction.

ZunePhone Puts the "Micro" in Microsoft

2008-01-17T09:34:00.000-08:00

This video cleverly demonstrates the kind of micro-thinking that continues to entrench Microsoft in the self-defeating strategy of trying to keep up with Apple.

If they're going to keep copying Apple, they really ought to improve on the product with its blatant imitations rather than making messier, clumsier versions, and much, much later to boot. In business, if you can't innovate something, you take an existing idea and make it better, not crappier. Facebook wasn't a new concept, but it sure cornered the market by creating the easiest, most dynamic social networking site around, pretty much burying innovators like MySpace in the wake of its runaway freight train success.

Vista. ZunePhone. Where does it end, Bill?

How to Win a Darwin Award: The Top 2 Winning Strategies

2008-01-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

Just had a read through of the 2007 Darwin Award Winners.

There appears to be 2 "winning" strategies to getting one of these notorious awards. They are as follows:

1) Build a mouse trap and fail disastrously. Runners up number two, number three and number five all fit into this category. The key to this strategy is try and accomplish a task by some ill-considered, unconventional means. The more spectacular your death, the better.

2) Die While Seeking the Ultimate Thrill. The winner and runners up number one and number four fit into this category. In this category, Darwin Award hopefuls knowingly or unknowingly subject themselves to danger in order to get the ultimate thrill. This may involve alcohol or some illicit substance, sex, dangerous locations, putting unusual items into unforgiving body cavities, or a combination of all these strategies. I personally believe that it was the inventive and aggressive combination of strategies that resulted this year's winner.

Now you may not be up to snuff as far as winning a Darwin Award goes, but I'd like to find out which strategy you would tend towards. I personally place myself in the thrill-seeker category, empathizing with the number one runner-up. What about you? Send me your comments!

Video Games: We've Come a Long Way Baby...

2008-01-11T21:45:00.000-08:00

What you're looking at is a game I used to play on the first game console system I ever owned, the Intellivision. It may not have been fancy, but this AD&D game used to scare the crap out of me as a 5-year-old. If you watched the whole video through, you'll notice that it only takes the player 5 1/2 minutes to complete the entire game.

It is truly amazing to me to see how far games have come. Current games such as Halo 3 and World of Warcraft were simply beyond imagination back then. Intellivision games are relegated to the nostalgic musings of old-timers like myself, and the subject of great mockery for the latest generations of gamers.

The Internet Hobo: A New Phrase Has Been Coined

2008-01-04T09:12:00.000-08:00

For a few months, I had put off getting my own Internet connection. Having recently moved into a new apartment, I had been "borrowing" a connection unbeknownst to one of my neighbours in the meantime.

After awhile, I discovered that the connection I'd been using had disappeared. I had hoped that my neighbour had just turned off their computer that day, but sadly it was gone for good. I waited a few days, hoping something else would come up, going to a local cafe when I got desperate.

But then one day, when I was particularly desperate, the cafe was closed. It was 8pm, dark and cold. I sat at the bench outside the cafe using its wireless connection. At least I didn't have to buy a coffee. The staff there were always nice about letting me stay much longer than a single coffee warranted.

Soon after it started to snow. As pathetic as it sounds, I started walking around outside with my open laptop, trying to find a place where I could connect to the Internet that had some kind of shelter. I managed to find one next to a low-rise aparment building. Huddled up trying to stay warm, I chatted with a friend of mine in Algeria. He commented that he had stayed up half the night just to chat with his loved ones back home. As my hands started to cramp up from the cold as I typed, my natural response to this was, "You think that's bad?"

It was at that moment that I realized I had hit rock bottom as far as Internet connectivity goes. I was an Internet hobo. And it was time to pick myself up and call my local cable company.

Buy Digg for Xmas... or Any of These 5 Things for $300 Million

2007-12-21T11:18:00.000-08:00

Got $300 million to spare? Digg recently announced that it is now for sale with a price tag of a cool $300 million.

So if you're feeling lonely this holiday season, you can buy your own social network of over a million people. But if you're already satisfied with your current social network, here are 5 other things you can splurge on to establish yourself as an eccentric multi-millionaire.

1) Go to the moon with 2 buddies. It's the ultimate road trip! Through Space Adventures, you and your friends can get higher than you've ever been in your life for the paltry sum of $100,000,000 per person

2) Build 541 Sears Towers out of Oreos. With $300 million you can buy 3 billion Oreo cookies, enough to stack them high enough to build 541 Sears Towers. Unfortunately, this doesn't cover the cost of milk... More facts about Oreos.

3) 3,000,000 donkeys. Talk about ass-ets! Through Oxfam America Unwrapped, you can buy 3,000,000 donkeys for disadvantaged families in developing countries. And if asses aren't to your liking, you can buy goats or sheep instead.

4) Turn Kazakhstan from a laughing stock into an online power. Using CityMax or a similar online website builder, you can build a website for nearly every person in Kazakhstan - enough to make the country an online force to be reckoned with. This would certainly offset Kazakhstan's reputation as a backward land of racist yokels. Take that Sacha Cohen!

5) A Trip around the World... in Twinkies! With $300 million you can buy enough Twinkies to string them around the world (at the equator) 1.5 times. And for the record, 600 million Twinkies is 100 million more than Hostess makes in a single year, so if you're gonna do this, you might want to give them some notice. More facts about Twinkies.